Sani2c Advice for Noobs: Beware of little old ladies.

[River Rat]

With the Sani2c only 4 months away I felt compelled to write up this piece of advice. Now let me apologise upfront for doing this, you see I am the sort of person that not only gives advice whether solicited or not, whether useful or not, whether correct or not it matters not to me but rest assured if there is a gap I'll jump in and deliver said advice notwithstanding the fact that my credentials amount to 2 completed Sanis. So here goes...

 

First up you need to understand your limitations as a team and plan accordingly. In our case my partner was a lot stronger than I was on the climbs this due to a back problem known as spondylolysis (I just call it Spondy). However, I am considerably quicker than him on the downhills this according to my partner due to an inherent brain defect (damn lawyers what do they know). The other input to our planning was the fact that we were batched in F batch for day one in the Race clearly the criteria used by the organisers for our team differed from the rest and after a lengthy debate we settled on the fact that the organisers were giving us recognition for shooting no 5&6 rapids in the great flood of the 2005 Umkomaas Canoe Marathon, Afterall Farmer Glen is a paddler. Despite my partner being a lawyer and my brain defect we had enough collective grey matter to surmise that we should have been in M batch.

 

This meant that we were going to be passed by faster riders throughout the day, in fact a lot of faster riders. This presented both a challenge as well as an opportunity, clearly the latter meant that we had to try and use the slip of these faster riders to improve our time. The challenge was how to do this within the constraints of our disparate strengths and weaknesses. Three scenarios existed, the first being the flats which were of little concern as the likelihood of one of us staying with the bunch and the other falling off was rather remote. The up hills and downhills were a different matter entirely though as he would be more inclined to stay with the slip on the ups whilst I almost certainly wouldn't. The downs were a different kettle of fish as we had noticed in races leading up to the Sani that I was quite capable of staying with the majority and in fact sometimes riding away from them. So the risk was quite high that we could get separated with the possibility of taking a time penalty.

 

This brings me to my second piece of advice which is that you have to have a communication plan. We also recognised that some of the riders that would have caught us might get a little peeved if they see us mortals using their slip and they could be be inclined to work us over so we need to speak in a secret code. We devised a really cool code and I'll tell you how it works because it will change for this year's event. My partner was Red and I was Blue, whom ever was in front at the time would have the adjunct of Leader while the trailing rider will be Tail. So if my partner was in front he would be Red Leader whilst I would be Blue Tail.

 

The key was to determine what the status of the other rider is and if he was on the slip or not. The code for being on the slip was "the flea is on the dog" and off the slip was "there is mud in the pantry". So this is how it would play out I would hear "Blue Tail, Blue Tail, this is Red Leader give me your stat" and I would respond with a "Red Leader, this is Blue Tail, the flea is on the dog." Pretty neat hey? And when you add mock static it sounds even cooler. To get used to the idea we practiced on the drive down from Gauteng only referring to each other as Red and Blue, adding further phrases to communicate any occurrence that we may encounter. We continued to practice in the Himeville Arms the night before the race but after a few beers the mock static starting sounding like a hysterical hippo with a lisp.

 

The day of the race was clear and crisp without last years snow on the berg and freezing temperatures. For the first 10k of the ride our plan worked flawlessly and we got the feeling that we were going to better last years time, we were staying with more of the faster riders than we thought and we were holding our own on the technical sections. All great until the Big Ring climb when this team sidles up next to us and we happily latch on to their slip Red in front does a status check and I reply that the Flea is on the dog. One team member next to me shouts at his mate "Hey Brett, this oke has fleas let's get the hell out of here!" They put in an interval and Red responds, I try, but Spondy says no way. Red inquires but I've lost all my ability to speak and all I can manage is a whisper which sounded like I said " there is fud in my panty". I guess many of you reading this think its funny but I want you to try something. Find a long hill sprint until your heart rate is at max, now clench your teeth as if in pain and say "there is mud in the pantry" now what did that sound like?

 

Any way back to the race " Hey Brett, these okes are kakking off give it Boet, give it!". Red sees red and decides to race them leaving me to fuddle up the hill on my own. It takes me 5ks to catch up to Red with my Spondy giving me a back spasm to rival a birth contraction. We exchange stares but say nothing and ignore any slip opportunity until we reach the downhill at Xumeni Forest (home of the Cape Parrot). A team from B batch that had mechanicals earlier join us on the descent and inquire as to our day so far. Red says he's having a great ride but doesn't know what my problem is. I glance down at my Garmin 38km/h and the road in front of us is clear of other riders. 45km/h a lateral drainage trench is bunny hopped, I get more airtime than I could buy from Cell C for R50. 55km/h "Blue Leader this Red Tail there is mud in the pantry". 60km/h " Blue Leader, I said there's mud, mud I said" I hear one of the other team say " Gert die ouens gaan *** anjaag los hulle laat hulle gaan". 65km/h and the 44/11 teeth combo spins out "Blue Leader stuff youuuuuuuu!" I adopt an aerodynamic position the wind in my ears and through my helmet creates a form of white noise and I can't hear anybody not even Red's desperate howl. 70km/h I use the middlemannetjie as berm to negotiate the sharp right hand bend. 75km/h and I'm wondering what a Cape Parrot with a lisp would sound like. 78km/h and the silence is remarkable these type 2 derailleurs really do reduce chain slap. Too many bends, mud puddles and rutted sections to look at the Garmin, but the momentum carries me well over the next uphill and into the forest single track.

 

The B batch boys catch me on the jeep track after we emerge from the forest "Jy is lekker mal ne". About 20 mins later when Red caught up to me we just looked at each other and grinned in silent acknowledgement that each of us had worked the other one over with nobody winning, for the first time on the day we were really a team. Third piece of advice, you will get to know your team mate on Sani and be prepared for a fallout of some sort. For the rest of the ride our plan worked and all that was needed was the word mud to restore order. Our stage time was slower than last year, evidence that not working as a team costs you.

[Boyracer]

Great!

[Gate closer]

Great read especially as I am doing my first this year, my partner is on his third. Lots of learning on my side to go.

[Richard the Lion Heart]

Great read, you should definitely start a blog to share your experiences and humour

[feetup]

hahaha,the pictures in my head are cracking me up lol

well written

Edited January 19, 2014 by feetup

[DJR]

:clap: River Rat, need more writing like yours on The Hub. :D

 

(I'm lucky enough to say that Beattbox and I matched each others' racing tortoise pace perfectly.)

[Stretch]

Was it river rat that wrote that cheetah chase story too?

[Ramrod]

Crisis. I have 4 months to get my wife ready

[Surv0MTB]

always a good read

[Surv0MTB]

Was it river rat that wrote that cheetah chase story too?

 

ye

[Ham]

Classic

[River Rat]

I am glad that my advice is useful to you guys but I must apologize as you are possibly wondering what happen to the little old lady bit. Fear not she will feature in the next episode that deals with the all important race recovery after day 1 and the key to Sani, Day 2. Hopefully I'll find time on my flight to Walvisbay to finish it.

[Squier]

Good one! Looking forward to episode 2.

[hayleyearth]

Wow! This makes me miss Sani 2013 like never before!

(It was my 1st stage race last year, I am scared to do another cause I fear it [everything, not just the trails] won't be that great.)

 

Thanks!

[Li Mu Bai]

A bell is clearer than mud.

[Disylizzy]

Awesome story!

 

I'll be doing my first one this year